My relationship between mental health and food

Overeating is usually reserved for combatting the social pressures of looking a certain way or a reaction to being bullied in school, but why is no one calling it a mental health issue?

At 26 years old I’m pretty okay with not looking like Gigi Hadid, and I’m not being bullied, yet I would rather eat a meal meant for five than talk about my feelings.

Diagnosed in 2011, I found anti-depressants numbing and being 13 stone at 5”1 wasn’t making things any better. Something happened and I suddenly said no to eating a multipack of crisps to myself and yes to going the gym for the first time in my life.

I looked great, but things still felt dark without me realising enough to tell someone.

Two years is the amount of time it’s taken me to slip back into old habits. Back to almost 13 stone. Back to feeling that storm of emotion inside to the point I want to stay inside and eat my way through the bad thoughts than have haunted me all these years.

I’ve relapsed.

My only advice is to take each day as its own, don’t punish yourself, and go outside. I might be able to get up every morning, but I assure you I don’t want to. It can be hard to talk about as well when the kneejerk reaction to “I’m eating too much lately” or “I’ve put on too much weight” will be “Well I think you look great” and “You can’t tell”.

Crying in my underwear surrounded by empty packets of temporary happiness has become exhausting and I know exactly how

I’ll feel as soon as I finish my eighth meal of the day, but when the bad spells appear so does the punishing.

This is my coming out as an overeater because that’s how I cope with my mental health issues, and you aren’t alone.

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